MY LIFE DOESN’T GO ON……….

MY LIFE DOESN’T GO ON……….

I love Mumbai and I HATE the fact that my life went on even while the city was besieged with terrorists .I have lost a lot in every attack that my city has witnessed- my innocence of well being , my assurance that the government would look after me and the notion that I am safe in my city. The dead bodies that I saw in 2003 shattered the belief that Mumbai was where I would reach my destiny; the fatality of it all was on display as the pigeons that fluttered at gateway lay dead at my feet. The hatred that the terrorists display towards me as a citizen of independent India is incomprehensible to me; so also the helpless of the people I elect to protect me while they move around with black commandos in Z+ security. Yes, as the home minister of the state said that in such big cities these incidents are common; yes they are because we except them to be. What is important to address is why the citizen should continue with normal life to show that the terrorist has not defeated my city, my spirit is broken though not displayed so they have won anyway. No amount of pride for the nation can bring back our warrior dead and the innocent citizenry that lost their lives in this attack and thumbs up signs just go on to show that there has be a temporary stay in the carnage of innocence.

I am tried of being strong and taking relief in the fact that my immediate family survived and now feel guilty for not taking the place of those that did for no fault of theirs. These days I fell like telling the terrorists that go ahead and kill me- do it but do not make me live in a city where every day is dogged with a sense of anxiousness that my family may not make it for dinner. My dear ones are in the firing line each and every day- taking the trains to their workplace, visiting restaurants and shopping at public spaces, how do I tell them not to. My keepers ie the government can afford to have air conditioned cars taking them to work, high level of security at the Mantralaya and shopping done abroad but I don’t have those options neither do those that are dear to me.

I knew some of those that fell to the bullets of the terrorists this time and a lot of them did not sign up to be heroes as their little ones waited for them at home. How did their life lose significance for me or this government that they elected? My life doesn’t go on and I need help…..i have no qualms admitting that the terrorists won as my government failed in protecting its citizenry and shame on them for bringing me to such a position. I empathize with those who lost their dear ones in the recent attack and stand beside them and refuse to be brave and lead a normal life.

MY LIFE DOESN’T GO ON……….

MY LIFE DOESN’T GO ON……….

I love Mumbai and I HATE the fact that my life went on even while the city was besieged with terrorists .I have lost a lot in every attack that my city has witnessed- my innocence of well being , my assurance that the government would look after me and the notion that I am safe in my city. The dead bodies that I saw in 2003 shattered the belief that Mumbai was where I would reach my destiny; the fatality of it all was on display as the pigeons that fluttered at gateway lay dead at my feet. The hatred that the terrorists display towards me as a citizen of independent India is incomprehensible to me; so also the helpless of the people I elect to protect me while they move around with black commandos in Z+ security. Yes, as the home minister of the state said that in such big cities these incidents are common; yes they are because we except them to be. What is important to address is why the citizen should continue with normal life to show that the terrorist has not defeated my city, my spirit is broken though not displayed so they have won anyway. No amount of pride for the nation can bring back our warrior dead and the innocent citizenry that lost their lives in this attack and thumbs up signs just go on to show that there has be a temporary stay in the carnage of innocence.

I am tried of being strong and taking relief in the fact that my immediate family survived and now feel guilty for not taking the place of those that did for no fault of theirs. These days I fell like telling the terrorists that go ahead and kill me- do it but do not make me live in a city where every day is dogged with a sense of anxiousness that my family may not make it for dinner. My dear ones are in the firing line each and every day- taking the trains to their workplace, visiting restaurants and shopping at public spaces, how do I tell them not to. My keepers ie the government can afford to have air conditioned cars taking them to work, high level of security at the Mantralaya and shopping done abroad but I don’t have those options neither do those that are dear to me.

I knew some of those that fell to the bullets of the terrorists this time and a lot of them did not sign up to be heroes as their little ones waited for them at home. How did their life lose significance for me or this government that they elected? My life doesn’t go on and I need help…..i have no qualms admitting that the terrorists won as my government failed in protecting its citizenry and shame on them for bringing me to such a position. I empathize with those who lost their dear ones in the recent attack and stand beside them and refuse to be brave and lead a normal life.

a little bit more

Sucess that buzz word that moves people to work that extra hour makes me wonder if it is worth all that..we equate sucess with popularity and those on th epage 1 and three but take a look at whgo occupies this space ....the one who get it early in life are doomed as far as any normal lifestyle is considered ...britney spears case is all it take to think back...there is paris hilton also about whom the less said about the lil princess the better....there is charlotte church she is settled with her rugby boyfriend gavin but her episodes are well documeneted and now also the guy who plays harry potter no body has escaped the curse....but look at our country the young genius have remained blessed talk about sachin tendulkar, ches champion anand , sunidhi chavan in singing ,urmilla tabu in acting why do we as a culture succed .......a liitle more of culture is that all we have going for us or is it our attitute of saluting experience and no matter what the achievement there are always nay sayers who hold experience more important........i would luv to hear what sachin thinks...do his million fans also contribute to his flight to the top by not letting his success go to his head ........

cricket mania

what the hell is wrong with our generation? why are we such a cricket obsessed nation? i always wonder if tendulkar ganguly would not be around what would bengalis and marathas look at for state pride.....and to think that a billion people have only a game played by 11 that too not effectively to bring us together....i have nothing against the game but the obsession with it is what drives me mad....at any point of time switch on the tube and you have one of those 15 cricketers faces staring at you...from their kundalis to the colour of their underwear i really do not want to know this much about a game. .....it is a game let them play it and if they do not do well it is not life and death for the nation.....it is a game not my nation's pride at stake i value india a lot more than that and 11 players are hardly the martyrs i am looking for......

bhatt and bose shut up!!!!!!!!!

i just read a few of rahul Bose’s comments on Gandhi in toi published on page 2 and gwad do i want to tell him to shut up......just who the hell are these guys to represent the views of our country.....living in the posh addresses of mumbai contributing zilch to the produce of our nation....making sillybillies like pyaar mein twist...i mean what crap....and we ask them to represent us. Both Mahesh bhatt and rahul Bose need to be gagged so that the tripe stops.....i want a leader who speaks my language sits with the 90% of the nation and understands their viewpoints and the baggage they come with ....is it really that hard to get that man/woman.....i hope one day as an electorate i get the opportunity to vote for a leader ready to take on this mammoth responsibility which even the first family of politics gandhis in their capacity fail to fulfill….

i am disillusioned with the leaders of today as I see corruption to the point of a police office asking for a mere 50 to shut a case…I mean how low have we as a society got……the endless potholes on the roads make me shudder …..The rich in their palatial houses do understand this ……but don’t get the wrongful confinement of the poor. The pain of the phasi pardhi tribe who are hauled to the police station every time that there is a robbery in the area...or the merciless beatings of their so called masters for imagined lazy workings ……what an irony the casteless so called society we live in……

but all is not bleak…..there are endeavors that would make one proud…..recently we organized a health camp in a ashramshala in khadavli (that’s 60 kms from Mumbai train route)eons away from the city culture ……the ashramshala’s founder is in his early 30’s so is the principal who is to marry shortly and another teacher who all sleep nights at school so as to cater to the needs of the children studying and staying there ….ask them the relevance of Gandhi who they look on and justify their hard with ……they are true leaders selflessly working on meager earnings for a greater cause of educating their tribal children. also the sight of our army men on the snow caped mountains….surviving the extreme weathers protecting us …they are the true leaders ….the common man doing extra ordinary everyday courageous act …….i salute all of them and rest assured with them Gandhi’s legacy continues…….

thank you

today i said thank you via mail......and realised that when writing a simple thank you one need not do a spell check or word count .....it is the nicest feeling to thank someone for contibuting to your life.....i am writing an assignment on group work and realised that there a hell lot of contributors to my life....the essay would run in thousands of words if i was told to just write the names of all those who have helped and egged me on through the 27 years of my life ........they didnt have to but in the course of their own problem soaked existence still took time for a non entity like me ...i know it sound as is i have won pulitzer or something and am thanking people but even a sane and well rounded personality with a socially rich life is a luxury that i have and i think am among the few fortunates....touch wood....i have discovered that sorry might be the hardest word to say but thank you is the most effective with the giver also realising the joy that his/her life is ...

revival

After moving from the media to now pursuing a social degree my life has changed. for the better i think...instead of taking about sanjay dutt amitabh now far more weighty issues like dr.lohia's philosphy ,ericksons psychosocial development theory are things am grappling with...and trust me hitting the books might not be easy but knowledge sure brings power. I now think i was a deprived child of the masses who now at a later stage is maturing...working in a news channel i was wasting my most precious resource my brain.....for all those attracted by the glamour of the 24 news channel business the mundane life is not visible nor the slow death of awareness.....the ebbing is so slow that one does not have the will to fight it. maybe i am taking of the people involved in the business today when i say a whole lot are educationally backward in the true sense of the term...a whole new world has developed before our eyes and a lot of research has gone into its growth which is entirely missed by us as media professionals....i was told that there is a term called intelligent reporting ...well what i learnt was talking by rote is intelligent...to make the point clearer a lot of us covered the reservations issue and if one was to look at it one would assume that the nation was against it on the basis of the aiims doctors, iit engineers testimonials but hold on what do they know of being deprived.....our great nation has been for thousand of years depriving people and you want 60 years of reservation to balance the equation?.....a lot of thinkers have written and addressed the problem of equality and what is sad is that water hosing of students has made the media wash away their viewpoints to present a nation against reservations ......

reading is what i have started doing after a very long period of time and am very glad that i got the chance to learn instead of existing for the sake of occupying space...